morning discoveries about Pride

My morning scribbles and learning on Pride.

Pride wears many masks. Pride is not the opposite of low self-esteem. Pride is the opposite of humility. We can have a serious problem that masquerades as low self-esteem. We all struggle with pride issues either thinking too much or too little of ourselves.

Humility in the New Testament comes from a root meaning “to lower oneself or to be brought low.” Scripture gives us specific guidance to visualize the idea. (ex. Isaiah 6:5)

When we see God as He is, we automatically see ourselves as we are. We fall on our faces before His greatness. Low self-esteem is a different matter completely. Low self-esteem means I see myself as low- not because God is great, but because I have so little value.

Don’t miss the paradox. When I recognize the greatness of God, I fall on my face before Him, but I also see myself in a new light. Because I am the loved creation of so great a Maker, I cannot help but be a person of great worth. Low self-esteem has nothing to do with real humility. Pride is self-absorption, whether we’re absorbed with how miserable we are or how wonderful we are. Humility on the other hand, is God-focused not self-focused.

We must learn to constantly be on the lookout for pride. We can safely say that if we’re not deliberately taking measures to combat pride, it’s probably doing something to combat humility. Pride is a monumental boulder in the path toward breaking free.

No matter what stronghold you are seeking to demolish, I suggest praying scripture about pride every day. We will never waste our time when we pray about our tendency toward pride and seek to humble ourselves before God.

These are some thoughts God gave me (Beth Moore) in the subject of pride several years ago.

My name is Pride. I am a cheater.

I cheat you of your God-given destiny…

because you demand your own way.

I cheat you of contentment…

because you “deserve better than this.”

I cheat you of knowledge… because you already know it all.

I cheat you of healing… because you’re to full of me to forgive.

I cheat you of holiness…

because you refuse to admit when you’re wrong.

I cheat you of vision…

because you’d rather look in a mirror than out a window.

I cheat you of genuine friendship...

because nobody’s gonna know the real you.

I cheat you of love…

because real romance demands sacrifice.

I cheat you of greatness in heaven…

because you refuse to wash another’s feet on earth.

I cheat you of God’s glory…

because I convince you to seek your own.

My name is Pride. I am a cheater.

You like me because you think I’m always looking out for you.

Untrue.

I’m looking to make a fool of you.

God has so much for you, I admit, but don’t worry…

Stick with me, and

You’ll never know.

Isaiah 6:5, “Woe to me!” I cried. “I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty.”

(Isaiah standing in the presence of the Lord was brought low because of God’s greatness. But then responded to God with a whole new attitude; one only concerned with God’s glory.)

Because I am the loved creation of so great a Maker, I cannot help but be a person of great worth!

My prayer and hope is to be humbled by God, to be changed by His glory, to fight constantly against pride and strive to be one esteemed by Him- Isaiah 66:2.

being blessed

Within the past couple months I have received blessing after blessing and one act of provision being followed by another. God is so good, all the time. I cannot thank Him enough and be humbled enough by His character. I can see God in my day-to-day activities and He is always willing to amaze me still with His “big and beyond” gestures of love. I am in awe of being chosen by God and continually called to be molded and transformed into a new being that is used to glorify Him. Every day is a constant battle against this world and I am learning each day to use the tools God has provided; prayer, scripture, fellowship, etc., and to go straight to God with it all. He always comes through; He is always steadfast and faithful. I am focusing on finding my joy and satisfaction in who God is, my life should be based on Him not on the circumstances- I want to live every day content in only God.

I am trying not to hold to tight to the blessings I have received- I use them and give thanks for them and praise Him in what I am given;  the Lord gives and takes away, but He is the constant and always worthy of thanks and praise. The more I receive from God and the more I learn from Him, the more I have to offer to people in His name and the more opportunity I have to grow to be used by God. There really is nothing I have to offer, in and of myself that, which this broken and sinful world does not already offer. However, through Christ all things are possible and used for good, for the benefit of the Kingdom of God.

To be honest, I think I have always been kind of weary of blessings. Of course, I loved being blessed and being provided for, whether it was spiritually or physically, I was always willing to be blessed. I was even all for blessing others and rejoicing in others blessings and encouraging them when they seemed to have lost something. But there was always another side of it that was in direct conflict with the desire and appreciation to be blessed. I was scared of blessings, sometimes even to the point of bitterness, I don’t think I truly understood how to be blessed by God. To explain a little, I mean that although I appreciated the blessing, I feared the responsibility and accountability that came with it. Blessings are given to reveal God character to us, and in that we become accountable to the new revelation God has chosen to show us- which is in turn a blessing from God, a way of knowing Him even more intimately. Our blessings are meant to be shared and used as tools to glorify God. Sometimes our blessings are momentary, God provides in our moments of need, and has the freedom and control to change His provision according to His will. In all blessings, thanks and praise needs to be given back to God, and the abundance of His blessing shared.

That is what I was always weary of: weariness over possibly loosing the blessing, weariness over being a steward of what I was given, weariness over sharing all that I was given with others, and weariness over the new accountability to God I had received with His blessing. It sounds so stupid, but I eventually was no longer truly joyful with what God was providing for me. That’s because I was more focused on what was being given or taken away, the result, the tangible evidence- I was missing that point of the blessing, to know God’s character more intimately. God wanted to show me His love, His steadfastness, His grace, His provision, He wanted me to know Him better, and I was completely missing the point. In God’s wonderful love and mercy He has continued to pour out His blessings on me and to reveal to me His beautiful character. That I am thankful for, more than words can say. And it is another blessing to be able to see this in my life now, to be able to look back and to look ahead and know that God is at work and God loves me.  I am brought to my knees with the knowledge that God has not given up on my foolish mind and continues to mold my heart and demonstrate His providence in my life.

God has consistently shown Himself true in my life and the lives of those around me. I have seen big things from God, yet for some reason have not always chosen to believe big. That is changing, with my quiet time and study, I am learning to believe God for who He is and what He does, not just believing in Him. I am praying big, for things only God can do, using scripture to feed my prayers. I am believing big, in things only God can do, using scripture to feed my belief. I am praising big, for all that God is worthy of, using scripture to feed my worship. I know that it is easy to praise God while everything is good and blessings are being poured out, but my prayer is that I am truly thankful for who God is, not only what He has provided. I want to be guarded in my praise and make sure that at all times it is the giver who is receiving my affections, not that which has been given.

How can we not Praise Him?

Lord, You seized me and I couldn’t resist You. I ran for a long time, but You followed me. I took by-paths, but You knew them. You overtook me. I struggled. You won. Here I am Lord, out of breath, no fight left in me, and I’ve said “yes”, almost unwillingly. When I stood there trembling, like one defeated before their captor, Your look of love fell on me. The die is cast, Lord, I cannot forget you. In a moment You conquered me, my doubts are swept away, my fears dispelled. Nothing matters to me, neither my comfort, nor even my life. I desire only You, I want nothing but You.

Why do we call impossible that which God calls possible? Why do we call unforgiveable that which God has forgiven? Why do we compromise with that which God calls sin? How we need to know God's heart and reach out, in His love and wisdom, to others!

Blessed  be the Lamb that was slain…

I praise the wounds and the blood of the Lamb; that heals the weakness of my body. I praise the wounds and the blood of the Lamb; that heals the weakness of my soul. I praise the wounds and the blood of the Lamb, that heals the weakness of my spirit.

I praise the blood of the Lamb; that covers all my sins so they can no longer be seen. I praise the blood of the Lamb; that cleanses me from all my sin. I praise the blood of the Lamb, which is stronger than my own sin-infested blood, and remolds into the image of God. I praise the blood of the Lamb that has the power to free me.

I praise the blood of the Lamb that is victorious. I praise the blood of the Lamb that protects me from all. I praise the blood of the Lamb that prepares me. I praise the blood of the Lamb that makes all things new. Hallelujah!

[But the Lord still waits for you, to show you His love, as He has said. And He, He will conquer you, so that He can bless you with Himself. Rejoice!]

Love Letter to Jesus

I have been reading through a book commentating and breaking down the book Song of Solomon, for women. Through reading this book I am experiencing different aspects and truth about the relationship God desires for me to have, to Him. I have been afforded the privilege of spending one on one time with God and looking at my life, identifying the one true constant at every turn, the love of Christ. I want to express my love, appreciation, and humility to Christ, in every aspect, so to further my intimacy with Him. I have always thought the idea of love letters were romantic and a genuine display of affection, all be it kind of cheesy. I have seen my father write long-hand letters and quick sweet sentiments to my mother, the woman he loves the most, and I as well have received notes of affection from my dad. So, following his example, as well as the example of Christ, and with some inspiration from the book I have been reading through, I want to transcribe my feelings for God in a letter. Jesus Christ is my Savior, my friend, my lover, and my father; and that has never changed, even though many times I have strayed. This is the first time I have ever done anything like this, and to be completely honest I am not 100% comfortable with writing it, but I know it will be worth it. I know that I need to write it, and I want to. I’m not sure what the end result will be, but here it goes…

To the One who loves me most,

            Most elementary school students are able to pen a simple list of affections and attributes of the person they desire. As you are longingly aware, I rarely am able to, and even when inspired, I do it poorly.

Did I miss the line for self-control? Did I skip the class on patience and longsuffering? Maybe I was pursuing a different goal when everyone was learning about contentment. And let’s not forget how I jump at the chance of being vulnerable. Yet, I find my desire for these things very real. This desire surfaces when I wish to submit to You in the course of that which is given to me. Almost every day, in the midst of true chaos, sometimes while I am working in the office or driving in traffic, I long for you. I am never sure of what sparks this desire, especially when I am justifiably preoccupied, but nevertheless, my mind is brought back to You.

Your providence (God’s providence) seems most clear when I am reviewing my life, and there You are. What I did not even know I needed, You provided. This unending, tolerant, forgiving love. The love that desires me even when I don’t desire even myself. This nonjudgmental, secure love. Your love that endures my disposition, my demeanor. This love relaxes, enjoys, and shares. It brings me to its source like a flower reaching for the sun.

I acknowledge that I cannot be afforded the credit for our relationship, and as I break down the layers of all that we have been through, the answers to “How does it work? What’s the secret? How do we keep moving forward?” have never been more evident. The answer is You. It remains that what I treasure most, is Your love. I can’t help but smile.  It excites me, comforts me, heals me. It binds me to You, protects me, nurtures my grievances, strengthens my resolve, motivates and prompts me to love in a like manner. Your love gives way to my life.

As I spend more time growing in You, I find contentment and joy. As I reflect on the past, I see where You offered pleasure and completeness. I am excited by those days, no less than the eagerness and anticipation I have for the days and years to come.

I resolve to love in the way that I have been loved. I resolve to pursue and allow pursuit. I am resolved to love, dare I say “to love You well,” for I am loved well, by the only One who can love me perfectly.

Striving to love like You, Amanda