Love Letter to Jesus

I have been reading through a book commentating and breaking down the book Song of Solomon, for women. Through reading this book I am experiencing different aspects and truth about the relationship God desires for me to have, to Him. I have been afforded the privilege of spending one on one time with God and looking at my life, identifying the one true constant at every turn, the love of Christ. I want to express my love, appreciation, and humility to Christ, in every aspect, so to further my intimacy with Him. I have always thought the idea of love letters were romantic and a genuine display of affection, all be it kind of cheesy. I have seen my father write long-hand letters and quick sweet sentiments to my mother, the woman he loves the most, and I as well have received notes of affection from my dad. So, following his example, as well as the example of Christ, and with some inspiration from the book I have been reading through, I want to transcribe my feelings for God in a letter. Jesus Christ is my Savior, my friend, my lover, and my father; and that has never changed, even though many times I have strayed. This is the first time I have ever done anything like this, and to be completely honest I am not 100% comfortable with writing it, but I know it will be worth it. I know that I need to write it, and I want to. I’m not sure what the end result will be, but here it goes…

To the One who loves me most,

            Most elementary school students are able to pen a simple list of affections and attributes of the person they desire. As you are longingly aware, I rarely am able to, and even when inspired, I do it poorly.

Did I miss the line for self-control? Did I skip the class on patience and longsuffering? Maybe I was pursuing a different goal when everyone was learning about contentment. And let’s not forget how I jump at the chance of being vulnerable. Yet, I find my desire for these things very real. This desire surfaces when I wish to submit to You in the course of that which is given to me. Almost every day, in the midst of true chaos, sometimes while I am working in the office or driving in traffic, I long for you. I am never sure of what sparks this desire, especially when I am justifiably preoccupied, but nevertheless, my mind is brought back to You.

Your providence (God’s providence) seems most clear when I am reviewing my life, and there You are. What I did not even know I needed, You provided. This unending, tolerant, forgiving love. The love that desires me even when I don’t desire even myself. This nonjudgmental, secure love. Your love that endures my disposition, my demeanor. This love relaxes, enjoys, and shares. It brings me to its source like a flower reaching for the sun.

I acknowledge that I cannot be afforded the credit for our relationship, and as I break down the layers of all that we have been through, the answers to “How does it work? What’s the secret? How do we keep moving forward?” have never been more evident. The answer is You. It remains that what I treasure most, is Your love. I can’t help but smile.  It excites me, comforts me, heals me. It binds me to You, protects me, nurtures my grievances, strengthens my resolve, motivates and prompts me to love in a like manner. Your love gives way to my life.

As I spend more time growing in You, I find contentment and joy. As I reflect on the past, I see where You offered pleasure and completeness. I am excited by those days, no less than the eagerness and anticipation I have for the days and years to come.

I resolve to love in the way that I have been loved. I resolve to pursue and allow pursuit. I am resolved to love, dare I say “to love You well,” for I am loved well, by the only One who can love me perfectly.

Striving to love like You, Amanda